So on Thursday afternoon I was frantically packing my bags and ended up lugging about 20 kilos of stuff (half of which I didn't even use, either) two kilometers down the hill to the bus stop in about ten minutes, since I thought I was going to be late for the bus or something... but it was quite the opposite as I waited five minutes sheltering my laptop in the rain.
But with the trip aside, I arrived home to a much different setting. I've never really considered what it's like to move out of a house after living in one for around 85% of your life.
It's a strange feeling, I guess. Like, everything from the previous house I could recognise, but it was like I was visiting someone else's place for the weekend.
Now that I'm at university I guess it's a socially accepted convention that I rely on going back to my parent's house less. I mean sure, I've thought briefly about what would happen after I graduate (very briefly), but I never realised it would be happening this quickly. And then there's a wedding at some stage (possibly next year)...
As if looking through boxes of stuff wasn't bad enough... with music in the background dipping into the low 80 BPM's, it felt like another season finale of some teen drama... you know, the episode that has a weak storyline that's frequently interrupted by flashbacks decided by the editor as his personal favourites.
But I digress. Looking through all of my possessions over the last 18 years... everything that I cherised, everything I played with, everything I wrote, everything I collected, everything I admired... was just packed away in brown cardboard and tape, stashed away in the new attic for fond rememberances when I turn 27 or something. But not before I rattled through all of them and grabbed a few things.
I wouldn't say I'm fully proud of my childhood. With all the social awkwardness aside, looking back I cannot explicitly picture a time period during primary school when I was like an average kid. Since 10 I was already taking college classes for maths, and with focus on study I guess I never got the chance to experience the other three categories of growing up.
So perhaps this is why I can't take this change as it is currently. I'm too busy trying to make my past complete by acting like a 10 year-old again (who just happens to look like someone that's 18) and focusing on improving it, when I should be moving forward, away from the nest, as it were.
It's one of the reasons why I'd like to be a game developer... it was the only way I could relate to anyone (as someone not going elsewhere for maths lessons) at school, and it always reminds me of the wonderful time as a 10 year-old; without an idea on the world beyond childhood, always dreaming, and always considering fantasy as reality. One part of me will always be 10, and however much I store away my past life, it will always be there.
So that wraps up the past few days. Or maybe that spiel just wasted 10-15 mintues of your time. That's what I write about on here sometimes. So deal with it.
The Mid-Week Early Weekend Website
...has been delayed due to me using up my usage again.
And in other useless facts, I found that on the morning of New Year's Eve 2019 I will be 10,000 days old. Just putting it out there.
3 comments:
I'm struggling to see over the course of your posts, why you feign the desire to be an 'average' kid. It appears relatively clear throughout your blog that being an average kid is the last thing you would want.
You seem justifiably proud of your current achievements and the gifts and talents you were graced with, yet you belittle those that are endowed to others.
Your 'What I Could've amounted to...' blog is a prime example of this.
You identify 5 categories of students, immediately adjudging yourself to be at the top end of the academic section without any form of self-reflection. Next, your associalistic category. Here you proceed to write off any talents that some people clearly possess in this realm, attributing it to factors completely outside your control in what appears to be a passage of self-justification as to why you never excelled here.
You take a very similar approach to people with gifts in the artistic field, whilst also belittling their skills, seemingly in an effort to raise the profile of your own talents. Whether this was intended or not, to an outsider looking in, this is how I perceived it.
"You draw them a picture, it makes them smile. You show someone why ice floats, they try and act interested. See the difference?"
Completely ignoring the anarchistic path is further evidence of your close mindedness and lack of ability to empathize with others. Is it really so hard to accept that typical university, class-room based learning is not for everybody? I acknowledge that you recognized the legitimacy of apprenticeships, but from my personal experience, many business and marketing students find that the theories being taught in these classes are unhelpful and would prefer to get out there and learn by doing so to speak. Many of these people go on to do exceptionally well. A degree is not a prerequisite for success. It's your chosen path for success, but not the path for everyone.
Some reflection and trying to empathize and understand that we are all different would probably go a long way for you. Celebrate your talents, you were gifted and have nurtured an incredible aptitude for mathematics. Others have gifts in the ability to befriend every person in a room or scribble a masterpiece in a matter of minutes. They should all be treasured equally.
Accept that people live different lifestyles. You choose to live a relatively quiet and secluded existence. Other choose to live by something closer to a 'work hard, play hard' type lifestyle. If two students are receiving the exact same marks, does it really matter if one chooses to unwind with a night on the town and liquor whilst the other indulges in some quiet video games? So long as neither are disturbing or preventing others from enjoying their personal time, there really should be no problem.
If you want to be given the opportunity to be an RA as well as being a successful one, you'll need to accept that not everyone is like yourself and to respect these differences as opposed to vilifying them.
Try to understand that the path you have chosen to embark on is the right one for you. It doesn't mean that those who take another path are wrong, it means that they're different.
HOLY SNAP! That's a comment...
(reads)
I... I had no idea...
(Goes off into corner for quiet reflection)
Anonymous shows incredible insight and says things which actually need saying. Not sure who you are anonymous but that matters not. It is good you spent the time to write those comments and I hope Louis you have a long hard reflection on them.
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