5 Reasons Why You Could Be Delusional

This is the first ever post that I have done which is more of a "break glass in case of emergency" type senario; i.e. If I ever run dry with my life stories, I'll have something to fall back on. Funny thing is, I can get as far as the title and a sentence or two, then I'm stuck for content. Anyway, here goes.
I'm sure I'm not the only one that has these moments that I'm about to describe to you. All of them have happened to me, unless otherwise specified.

I guess the real question is, "Am I really imagining things?", or, "Do I have a twisted imagination?", or something similar. I've had moments in time where I've just sat or stood somewhere and literally stared into space. For anyone that quickly wonders what I'm doing, then looks away for fear of being contiminated by the freak that's staring into space, this is not one of those times where I'm inside my "nothing" box.
You know what I'm talking about, lady/ladies - how women tend to jump from one thing to another when thinking, whileist if you ask a man about what he's thinking about he'll probably say "nothing"? There are two explanations for this: the first is that we really aren't thinking of anything, we could just be watching TV when we just zone out slightly and forget to blink. The alternative is that we are thinking of something, we just don't wish to disclose it because we think you may not find it interesting, or it could be a surprise for you in the making. If you really want to know - just be prepared for boredom or disappointment.
Back to the space-staring freak. These little momnets could happen anywhere: At home, at school, on the train, the bus... the majority of times I find myself staring into space thinking about how the current situation could be make slightly more exciting on my part. Here's some examples. A pre-read warning: be prepared for 'wtf'-esque moments.
Our family is driving home in the car, I hear a thud on the roof. Cue the zoning out. It's time to start thinking about how that could be some guy wearing magnetic shoes hitching a ride back to our house because he has to... get to the weather station at the airport... to... disarm a machine set to modify weather patterns, or, or, or...
As soon as I realise that this probably wouldn't be case, I tend to snap out of it, blinking my eyes heavily as if I've just stared into a powerful flashlight.
Or, I'm on the bullet train in Japan, and there's a possibly that there's a brawl taking place on the roof, since someone nicked an emerald from somewhere, and the good guys are trying to get to them before they get away, and so they're running along the length of the train as it speeds along the Japanese countryside... and they can't let anyone see what's happening as it's a matter of national security, so when our field trip pulls into the station where we get off we can't see them... since they've jumped onto the higher levels of the station building, and as we exit the emerald gets dropped into my luggage, then whoever was on the roof have to jump down onto the street and chase after the bus I'm in... and... and... cue zoning out. At this stage some natives have walked down the aisles and wondered to themselves why foreigners like looking at the back of the bullet train seats. Anyway, you get the idea.
That's only the first reason. Hopefully the other four take less time to explain and are a lot more interesting.

Number 2: I've had times where I'm talking to someone, and for a split second or longer I've practically separated my mental self from my physical self and I'm sitting back and listening to myself talk. This happens more often than usual to not be considered. When this situation occurs, It's like how people talk about "thinking before you talk", but is it possible to talk before knowing what you're going to say next? It's a little too strange to keep thinking about, so we'll move on.

Number 3: I'm sure I'm not the only one that's hit the snooze button too many times that they turn the alarm off, then getting constantly reminded to get up, then give in and get up. Only it never happened. You're probably thinking, "huh?" right now, so here's an example. It actually happened this morning (of the day I wrote this). I've already turned off the alarm, and it's about 11am now, since I didn't get to sleep until 1am due to me blogging about console loyalty (check the older stuff). Anyway, I go back to sleep, but then it feels like I've gotten up, and it's lunchtime, and my Granddad (mother's side) has visited after a song-and-pictures number about the Trogday '08 alphabet song (please, pleeeeease don't ask me about this, HRWiki users will know, it's kind of an inside reference). Then I attempt to make lunch inside our old kitchen's glass cupboard, consisting of a two layered bacon sandwich with cilantro that keeps slipping and deconstructing itself. At this stage, I've realised that it was all a dream and wake up. "How?" you ask. Here's how you at home can pick the phony:

• If my Granddad was visiting, he would have called up a few days earlier to say so. Also, I think he's recovering or only just recovered from hospital.
• The alphabet song took several "rewinds" to complete the final verse. To those of you (which is probably everyone) that don't know what I mean by that, it's when you're thinking about a scene of a daydream, or similar, and it doesn't play out the way you wanted it, so you skip back a few seconds or so to correct the mistake. It's like having to do several takes.
• Even after the "rewinds", the song lyrics were still wrong, although I only realised that afternoon.
• It was the old kitchen's cupboard - we've renovated.
• Although I have had a bacon sandwich with two layers, I haven't had one where it keeps slipping off the bread, let alone using bacon that looks more like shaved ham or luncheon (baloney for those Americans out there).
• I don't even think I know what cilantro is.

Number 4: Really easy. You imagine objects, people or similar items in the place of nothingness. And I'm not just talking about mirages. Or hallucination. Well, kinda. More like having an imaginary friend. I went through a breif stint of this during parts of Year 9 and 10 but it was forgotten after I got to know the Year 10 extention class better. Either that or the series got cancelled.

Number 5: Not quite sure if this counts as being delusional, but anyway: you know how a joke is so bad, it's good? This is the complete opposite. You're trying to hum the theme song to the game you're playing that week inside your head, but you cant get the bass, melody, or lyrics quite right... so your face becomes 'crumpled' as you try and use all your effort to save the song from falling down several places in the 'sub-conciouss' music charts, but alas, that never seemed to fix it. It's practically a crime for an alleged fanboy. You're probably having a bad day. Try going to sleep earlier. This tends to happen if you couple (what yourself would consider) 'cool' music with an activity like... hanging out the washing. It just doesn't work. Kinda like having Hi-5 playing on the stereo in the background while some family members are arguing - it's a type mismatch.

Number 6: There have been times when you are having a conversation, quite normally... when all of a sudden you come out and say something that practically brings the whole conversation to an abrupt ending. Ever noticed how those words you said tend to repeat themselves for a while in your head? And how they are at a generally higher volume than most other thoughts? Well, I do anyway.

Number 7: Almost like some type of mutant bipolar disorder, senario number 7 is similar sounding to number 2, only this time it's just come out completely, and it's not something you would generally say without giving it some thought. Make sense? It's when you're talking to someone and aftwerwards you feel like, "I can't believe I just said that." My guess is that this is caused by peer pressure or even subliminal advertising.

Number 8: Look at me, I'm so delusional I couldn't even count the number of situations correctly!

The Final Section
Yes, even posts that have been created days in advance still have relatively up-to-date websites and videos to show. But with me staying an extended period at my Grandma's (due to my boss asking me to come in for extra days at work), the StumbleUpon section has been delayed again. But here's...
What I'm Watching: I got introduced to this one in Japanese class (of all places), about a parody of street magician, David Blaine. My favourite bits are the face 'David' gives when he does a trick, and when the victim continually points out the Cheezits.